10 Strange Things I Have Seen While Running (Plus Day 46)

• Posted: July 17, 2008
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• Author: Shéamus
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• Filed under: Observations, Workouts
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• Tags: No tags set for this entry.

When you run regularly you see a lot of fairly odd things. And it’s not just the stuff your eyes take in either - your ears and, unfortunately, your nose plays a big part in the experience, too. (Thankfully touch hasn’t really come up yet. I’m not even going to think about taste.)

I’ve been running for almost seven weeks consecutively now, and in that time I’ve experienced all manner of oddities. Here’s a sample of ten:

1. The Cyclist Who Zooms By You at 25mph On His $3000 Bike… who you then catch up with ten minutes later because he’s decided to stop at the side of the road to roll and smoke a cigarette. They don’t even do that in the Tour de France anymore, guys!

2. Drunk People Really, Really Smell. I mean, you knew that already, right? At least, you suspected it. But that’s not the same as running past somebody thirty-seven minutes into your time-trial, your lungs screaming for air, who hasn’t washed for a good few days, doesn’t believe in a change of shirt, and has already had ten cans of Special Brew. And is now working on his eleventh. At 10.23am. Fill your lungs men, fill your lungs.

3. But Even Good Things Can Smell Bad. Especially after a steady series of hills. During my run yesterday, around the 2.5 mile point I had to pass a McDonalds and a KFC. Now, I know these places aren’t to all folks’ tastes, but I’ve always liked them. And usually - you know, when walking or passing by in a car - I love the smell of them. However, when you’re on the verge of puking your guts out because half-a-mile of hills has damn near broken you, that smell is the last thing you need. And then I had to run past their bins…

4. And Don’t Get Me Started On Subways. Yes, we know some people like to urinate in them. Why do all smells have to travel upwards on really hot days?

5. Dogs. There are two kinds of dogs. There’s the nice, tail-wagging sort who might casually glance at you when you’re fifty yards within their range of vision and then completely ignore you as you run by, or even be polite enough to move out of the way (I swear one said ‘Keep going’ once). And then there’s the other kind - you notice them eyeballing you from half-a-mile away. They’re always off their leash - in fact, they probably killed and ate their previous owner just last week, and have now developed a taste for it - and they just sit there, silently waiting for you to pass. At that moment you really have no idea what will happen. Sure, you give yourself as wide a berth as possible, but any second now they could be upon you…

6. Random People Asking You For Money. Yeah, because I always carry my wallet with me when I’m out for a run. How much do you need? Can you break a twenty? Hand over my running shoes? What!?

7. Old People. Old people - you gotta love ‘em, right? Well, sometimes, because many have this really, really annoying habit that plagues the regular runner. They come in groups. Sometimes a pair, sometimes more. You see them straight ahead, maybe 200 yards away. You know they’ve seen you - all they’re doing is staring straight ahead, looking at you. But even though somehow between them they’re taking up all of the sidewalk, they refuse to budge. It’s 100 yards now. They’re still not moving. 50. It’s a crazy game of chicken. 25. You start to panic - will you have to stop? 10 yards. Five. Two. And then just when you’ve managed to veer off to the side to make enough room to squeeze through, they decide to do the exact same thing. Still, at least they break easily.

8. People In Cars Who Shout At You. What is that all about? It’s not as if I can even make out what they’re saying. It’s gotta be complimentary, right?

9. A Couple Who Look Like They’re About To Start Fighting. This has happened more than once. I’ll be 100-150 yards away but can already hear a loud argument taking place between a man and a woman who are clearly romantically involved, or at least were, but now he’s done x or she’s done y, and it’s getting ugly, and any second now one of them is going to have a swing. I mean, what’s the etiquette here? Do I stop? But I’m on the verge of a PB…

10. The Student Zombie Horde. My hometown of Hastings gets a lot of business each summer from the massive influx of foreign students who visit the town. Most of them are young kids and despite being a bit loud (especially on public transport) are generally pleasant and well behaved. But they have this habit of doing everything in these enormous groups, and that includes walking along the seafront. Twice I’ve been running this week and seen them storming over the horizon, working in a focused reverse V-formation like some enormous team of Red Arrows, a situation made infinitely worse because many of them do this kind of head-down soft-shoe shuffle, gazing at the floor as they continue to move slowly forward. So what happens is they don’t see you until you’re literally on them, and that’s what you’ll be simply because they’re taking up all of the sidewalk (and some of the road) and never, ever get out of your way. And it’s no good shouting ‘excuse me’, because they’ve come over here to learn English.

What crazy things have you seen while on your runs?

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Day 46 Update: Did a 4-mile recovery run today. My legs were pretty tired - they felt heavy - and it was cold and windy, although I’ve become fairly accustomed to that now and I think I’ve actually learned to run quite well in it. I wasn’t looking to break any records today but had half an eye on going sub-32 minutes, which I did. Overall it wasn’t too bad a run.

Splits and chart:

We’re nearing day 50 - you’ll want to be here for that, as I’ll be making a special announcement. So make you’re you check in this coming Monday (July 21)!

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